Ronnie the Goblin, written by Junior Dan Kristoff, is about a Goblin who is actually good. Dan was inspired to write this tale because he wanted to change the way people look at Fairy Tale structure and rules. Dan hails from Niagara, Wisconsin. Dan is also an English major.
Brendan Healy
Brendan Healy
ronnie the goblin
By Dan Kristoff
Once
upon a time there lived a young goblin named Ronnie who lived in Rakadarr, a
goblin town under the mountain. Ronnie lived alone with his mother who was very
poor because her husband was killed by a prince looking for adventure, a fate
not uncommon among the goblins of Rakadarr. No one in Rakadarr knew why the
humans were so aggressively anti-goblin. The goblins were really a peaceful
race but it seemed every time they tried to live above ground people would find
them and attack them. It was old goblin legend that the first time Goblins
encountered humans the humans attacked them on sight for being so ugly.
Well, Ronnie was a particularly ugly goblin and since he and his mother were so poor Ronnie had to venture out into the forest of the over world to search for firewood each morning. Ronnie hated his trips to the surface because the upper beings feared and hated his kind.
When Ronnie would walk through the forest he would hear the birds sing, “Chirp chirp, beware everyone! An ugly troll is coming!” This really annoyed Ronnie especially since he wasn’t even a troll; he was a goblin. Even the squirrels and rabbits would run away from him which made Ronnie sad because he always wanted to have an animal he could pet.
All these things annoyed Ronnie but the worst were the unicorns that would come to the forest just to terrorize Ronnie. All of the unicorns that Ronnie met were mean to him but none more than Anthony. Anthony often told Ronnie that it was he who had carried the valiant prince that had slayed Ronnie’s father into battle. Anthony would follow Ronnie around and knock the sticks out of his hands while taunting him all the while.
Ronnie often thought about throwing mud at Anthony to stain his pure white coat but he knew that Anthony and the gang of followers he always had with him would just beat him up even worse if he did. More often than not it was Ronnie who came home covered in mud after a long day of being knocked over, taunted, and generally bullied by the gang of unicorns.
The one thing that Ronnie really liked on Earth was rocks. It may sound a little strange but rocks had always comforted him. He enjoyed coming back into the underground city and feeling the warmth of the rock walls and the vibrations of the goblin miners deep below the surface. Rocks had always been a constant in his life that had never bothered or annoyed him.
Ronnie liked best of all to listen to the stories about the ancient rocks his mother would tell. She told Ronnie that long ago when the Earth was first formed all of the rocks could speak to each other. However, after millions of years of being around many of the rocks had decided to enter hibernations and that was why most rocks do not do anything anymore.
Ronnie liked to imagine personalities for his favorite rocks and often noted big or odd shaped rocks he spotted in the over world. He would name the rocks and talk to them as if they were still awake like the ancient rocks from his mother’s tales. He sometimes wished he could be one of the ancient rocks that had watched the evolution of the world without ever being bothered by anyone.
One day while gathering firewood Ronnie saw a large rock that was being bathed in sunlight. Ronnie could not help but to walk over to the rock and feel the warmth of the sunlight on it. It was such a pretty rock that Ronnie thought, “I should name this rock--
“Fitzenschalernotendone!” interrupted a loud booming voice, “But you can call me Fitz.”
Ronnie was so shocked that he almost ran away but suddenly he realized this must be one of the ancient rocks that his mother had told him about. He started talking to the rock and soon they became good friends. The rock did not mind that Ronnie was an ugly goblin and Ronnie was just happy to have a new friend.
Everyday Ronnie would stop and talk with Fitz while he was collecting firewood and it made his days much more enjoyable. He still dreaded the meetings with the unicorns but at least now he had a reason not to completely hate the over world. Even on days when the unicorns tormented him he could still go talk to Fitz afterwards and get cheered up.
One way that Fitz helped cheer up Ronnie was by changing his surface one day to look like the face of a goblin. The other creatures of the forest were not too happy about this but it really made Ronnie feel like he had a friend above ground. Ronnie would always smile when he came over the hill and saw Fitz’s crooked nose and grimacing face sitting in the sunlight.
On one of Ronnie expeditions to the surface he found a fallen tree with plenty of sticks for a whole day early in the morning. With his work done early he decided to go talk to his pal Fitz. Ronnie was glad to have the whole day to spend with Fitz and almost forgot the time when suddenly a shadow fell over him.
Anthony had showed up with his gang of obnoxious unicorns. Anthony immediately started teasing Ronnie while his gang of friend started smashing Ronnie’s sticks into little pieces with their hooves. Anthony had just finished a particularly mean taunt when he noticed the rock that Ronnie had befriended.
“What is this?” he asked, “Did you carve a rock so there was something as ugly as you in the forest?” And with that Anthony kicked the rock shattering poor Fitz’s goblin nose.
Suddenly the ground of the whole forest began to tremble and Fitzenschalernotendone’s booming voice rang out once again, “Anthony, for this underserved assault on me and the cowardly way you and your kind gang up on my little goblin friend here I curse you all for eternity! No longer shall your kind have that horn you are all so proud of and you shall become dumb beasts.” And with this proclamation the forest ceased to shake and tremble.
When Ronnie looked up at the unicorns next he saw a strange sight. Unicorns without horns. Ronnie also soon realized that the unicorns could no longer speak and taunt him like he used to. In fact all that they did was meander around neighing and eating grass.
This is how unicorn became to be known as horses. Their arrogance and rudeness costs them their horns and intelligence. Ronnie and Fitz became even closer friends after the spell but Ronnie would be one of the few goblins that still came to the surface. Most goblins being the respectful and peace loving beings they are decided it was easier to remain below the surface and not bother anyone. And so Ronnie, Fitz and the rest of the goblins lived happily ever after in their city below the mountain.
Well, Ronnie was a particularly ugly goblin and since he and his mother were so poor Ronnie had to venture out into the forest of the over world to search for firewood each morning. Ronnie hated his trips to the surface because the upper beings feared and hated his kind.
When Ronnie would walk through the forest he would hear the birds sing, “Chirp chirp, beware everyone! An ugly troll is coming!” This really annoyed Ronnie especially since he wasn’t even a troll; he was a goblin. Even the squirrels and rabbits would run away from him which made Ronnie sad because he always wanted to have an animal he could pet.
All these things annoyed Ronnie but the worst were the unicorns that would come to the forest just to terrorize Ronnie. All of the unicorns that Ronnie met were mean to him but none more than Anthony. Anthony often told Ronnie that it was he who had carried the valiant prince that had slayed Ronnie’s father into battle. Anthony would follow Ronnie around and knock the sticks out of his hands while taunting him all the while.
Ronnie often thought about throwing mud at Anthony to stain his pure white coat but he knew that Anthony and the gang of followers he always had with him would just beat him up even worse if he did. More often than not it was Ronnie who came home covered in mud after a long day of being knocked over, taunted, and generally bullied by the gang of unicorns.
The one thing that Ronnie really liked on Earth was rocks. It may sound a little strange but rocks had always comforted him. He enjoyed coming back into the underground city and feeling the warmth of the rock walls and the vibrations of the goblin miners deep below the surface. Rocks had always been a constant in his life that had never bothered or annoyed him.
Ronnie liked best of all to listen to the stories about the ancient rocks his mother would tell. She told Ronnie that long ago when the Earth was first formed all of the rocks could speak to each other. However, after millions of years of being around many of the rocks had decided to enter hibernations and that was why most rocks do not do anything anymore.
Ronnie liked to imagine personalities for his favorite rocks and often noted big or odd shaped rocks he spotted in the over world. He would name the rocks and talk to them as if they were still awake like the ancient rocks from his mother’s tales. He sometimes wished he could be one of the ancient rocks that had watched the evolution of the world without ever being bothered by anyone.
One day while gathering firewood Ronnie saw a large rock that was being bathed in sunlight. Ronnie could not help but to walk over to the rock and feel the warmth of the sunlight on it. It was such a pretty rock that Ronnie thought, “I should name this rock--
“Fitzenschalernotendone!” interrupted a loud booming voice, “But you can call me Fitz.”
Ronnie was so shocked that he almost ran away but suddenly he realized this must be one of the ancient rocks that his mother had told him about. He started talking to the rock and soon they became good friends. The rock did not mind that Ronnie was an ugly goblin and Ronnie was just happy to have a new friend.
Everyday Ronnie would stop and talk with Fitz while he was collecting firewood and it made his days much more enjoyable. He still dreaded the meetings with the unicorns but at least now he had a reason not to completely hate the over world. Even on days when the unicorns tormented him he could still go talk to Fitz afterwards and get cheered up.
One way that Fitz helped cheer up Ronnie was by changing his surface one day to look like the face of a goblin. The other creatures of the forest were not too happy about this but it really made Ronnie feel like he had a friend above ground. Ronnie would always smile when he came over the hill and saw Fitz’s crooked nose and grimacing face sitting in the sunlight.
On one of Ronnie expeditions to the surface he found a fallen tree with plenty of sticks for a whole day early in the morning. With his work done early he decided to go talk to his pal Fitz. Ronnie was glad to have the whole day to spend with Fitz and almost forgot the time when suddenly a shadow fell over him.
Anthony had showed up with his gang of obnoxious unicorns. Anthony immediately started teasing Ronnie while his gang of friend started smashing Ronnie’s sticks into little pieces with their hooves. Anthony had just finished a particularly mean taunt when he noticed the rock that Ronnie had befriended.
“What is this?” he asked, “Did you carve a rock so there was something as ugly as you in the forest?” And with that Anthony kicked the rock shattering poor Fitz’s goblin nose.
Suddenly the ground of the whole forest began to tremble and Fitzenschalernotendone’s booming voice rang out once again, “Anthony, for this underserved assault on me and the cowardly way you and your kind gang up on my little goblin friend here I curse you all for eternity! No longer shall your kind have that horn you are all so proud of and you shall become dumb beasts.” And with this proclamation the forest ceased to shake and tremble.
When Ronnie looked up at the unicorns next he saw a strange sight. Unicorns without horns. Ronnie also soon realized that the unicorns could no longer speak and taunt him like he used to. In fact all that they did was meander around neighing and eating grass.
This is how unicorn became to be known as horses. Their arrogance and rudeness costs them their horns and intelligence. Ronnie and Fitz became even closer friends after the spell but Ronnie would be one of the few goblins that still came to the surface. Most goblins being the respectful and peace loving beings they are decided it was easier to remain below the surface and not bother anyone. And so Ronnie, Fitz and the rest of the goblins lived happily ever after in their city below the mountain.